Regardless, they are ALL overpaid.

My family was never well-off. We had good years and bad years. Stretches where my mom didn't have to work, and times when 2 incomes were not enough. We always had food on the table, and dessert, and I never had to walk to school barefoot, in the snow, uphill, both ways. We lived in Florida, after all.

One of my favorite stories from my parents early years of marriage involved the time they were so poor they had a black and white television and no cable. Ironic, since my mother was a bookkeeper for a small cable television company. One Sunday, without any extra money to go to the movies or out to eat, they found themselves watching football. Neither of them particularly enjoyed football, or followed the sport, but there was little else available. They each decided to pick a team, and the one whose team lost would have to do the dishes after dinner. And lo, a tradition was born. And a passion for football.

As the season went on, my parents got more invested. Upping the ante to cooking and cleaning the dishes. Laundry for a week. It became a whole thing. For years, they watched the pre-game shows, checked the stats and read the sports page. Sometimes we went over to one of my paternal uncle's houses and a whole to-do was made. I remember there was a pool and someone grilled.

I never really sat and watched a game with them. I tried, but usually found myself back in my room reading, or talking on the phone. When I got older, I discovered that knowing a few facts about the game and major players gave me a little "in" with the boys in school. All I needed to know was just enough to interject an interesting tidbit into their conversation and I'd have their attention. I never knew what to do with their attention once I got it, but I was halfway there! I'd ask my mom for some info on a specific player, what the best play of the game had been, bad calls, injuries, and I'd be set for Monday morning before the bell.



Even after my parents separated, and we stopped hanging out with my dad's side of the family as much, my mom stayed a fan. And apparently her whole side of the family. Since I left the nest, my family has become the group of people at the sport's bar who get there first and are among the last to leave. They've attended weddings and funerals with the owners. Exchanged Christmas presents. They have a tab for crying out loud. I didn't know you could do that outside of television!

A few years ago they started a football pool. In keeping with the cheap entertainment theme, everyone chips in $2 for the whole season. And then they pick teams each week, the points are tallied and at the end of the season, someone gets a nice gift card to the restaurant of their choice. Good times! One of my sisters is in charge of the whole thing, and does an awesome job of keeping track of everyone's picks, sending out email updates and summarizing the week in football.

In trying to become more connected with my family, I joined the pool this year. We used to be a super tight-knit group, with tons of get-togethers and outings. But as people grow up and the family expands, it gets harder. I left pretty early, and even now live 100 miles away, so it's hard. But I'm making the effort with football. Problem is, I don't know anything about football. I remember some stuff from my youth. Montana to Rice. Marino was #13. Something about The Refrigerator? And Tampa didn't give Testaverde a chance. Any current football knowledge I have comes from Dancing With The Stars. Smith, Sapp, Rice, J. Taylor, Ochocinco, Irvin, L. Taylor, Warner. Most of those guys are retired tho, aren't they? Damn.



Being the competitive person I am, I couldn't just Christmas-tree my picks. So I started researching. I spent probably 3 hours the first week looking at team stats, player stats, who retired, who was traded, etc. Subsequently, I've averaged about 2 hours a week, researching the teams, checking on injuries, matching up the defense and the offense.

Week One: 11 out of 16. Nice job by the Rookie in the pool!
Week Two: 10 out of 16. Excellent, considering I was high on Percocet.
Week Three: 7 out of 16. WTF happened there? Dude... There were some hard decisions to be made last week.

The thing is, I like to wait until Saturday to make my final decision, in case some yahoo sprains an ankle in practice. However, Mike would appreciate it if I spent those 2 hours hanging out with him on Saturday. Fair enough. At least I don't actually watch any games on Sunday. I just check the scores with my phone when he's not looking.

So.... anyone watch football? Have any insider tips for me? I've got about an hour and a half before Mike gets home. Quick!