That was.... Steak. Sauce!

Merry Christmas Eve!

This must be a personal record: writing a post at 6:00 am. Since I woke up at 4:15 am for no good reason, other than the need to pee, and couldn't fall back asleep, what the hell, let's get our chat on.

First, a little housekeeping:

I'm not going to do this the justice it deserves, but I have some happy heart news. After a pretty crappy year full of uncertainty and heartache (in all its manifestations) I had another Echo that indicates my heart function IS ALMOST NORMAL! Let's break it down by numbers:

In February, my Ejection Fraction was 10-15% (depending on the report). I'm no expert, but I'm thinking that another month without treatment and I would have died. I don't feel that an exaggeration and it is.... I don't have words.

As of this past week, my EF is now 45-50%. That's HUGE. That's crazy. In August, it was 30-35% and I was pretty damn happy about that. But I'm only 5-10% away from normal. And I'm pretty sure I have the best blood pressure in the building at work.

And speaking of work, I finally got to go back to work on Black Friday. (Because that was a good return date?) However, I had to start at the bottom of the barrel, and technically I'm only a seasonal hire. I won't know for a few more weeks if I'll get to stick around and in what capacity. Thanks to my excellent news, I will be able to return to full-duty, but they may just not be able to fit me in at my old place, and that means I'll have to start looking around. Because I'm making about 45% of my old salary. Yeah, about that.... Actually, let's not even talk about that. Thanks to my amazing news, I won't be receiving much more in the way of disability assistance from the insurance company, and while I get it, I REALLY don't like it. Oh well, it's Christmas, let us focus on happier things. Like....

My 2 sisters and I did a post-Thanksgiving Biggest Loser thing, where the 4 weeks between the holidays we did weekly weigh ins and compared percentages lost. I just did my last weigh-in about half an hour ago and my 4-week total is a 1.79% loss. I think I might win! Unless sister #2 had a totally kick ass week, because she was only at a 0.06% loss at week three. $15 worth of lottery tickets is at stake! Which really means MILLIONS OF POSSIBLE DOLLARS are at stake!!! Well, MILLIONS OF POSSIBLE DOLLARS and a longer, healthier life. I'll let you know. Hopefully my next post is a picture of my 1.79% thinner self rolling around in a pile of money. Stay tuned!

In related news, I baked 12 dozen cookies on Wednesday, and made a turkey. And yet, I lost weight this week. Awesome. Also awesome is how much everyone loved the cookies. Sugar cookies, snickerdoodles, chocolate chip, and sugar cookie snowman (created without a cookie cutter I might add) iced with a homemade almond glaze. Yeah, my feet were killing me after 10 hours in the kitchen on my day off.

Me? Not too smart.

And speaking of my feet killing me, I completed my year of insurance-loving, deductible-meeting, out-of-pocket surpassing fun by visiting yet another doctor, a podiatrist. My feet have hurt since I was in school, and I always assumed it was because I marched and then worked retail since I was 13. (Yeah, I used to twirl shit in front of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people, while wearing spandex. So what? You gotta problem with that? Didn't think so...) Plus I gained a bunch of weight after school, so that didn't help. Turns out tho, I have flat feet. Like, no arch. It's pretty crazy. If you look at my foot when it's propped up on a coffee table or something, I've got a very shapely arch. I'm thinking foot-fetish people would dig it. However, as soon as I step down on it, you can't even slide a piece of paper between my foot and the floor. That's not good. So I was prescribed all sorts of homework for icing and numbing and stretching, plus some inserts that I have to break in. Ugh. Those things hurt. I know they will help, but it's like an 8 year old with a new pair of glasses. Someone's gonna have to make me.

Oh, and, AND, I'm not supposed to walk barefoot. Like, EVER. Not even when I get out of bed. I'm to put my feet directly into shoes before I even stand up out of bed. This is Florida folks. I may be closed-toed in public, but when I get home, I lose the shoes and socks before my bra even.

Oops - 6:45 am. I have to go shower now. Sorry, I'm not sure how to tie this whole thing together. How about with a....




Wait, did you get the title? No? Sigh. Santa needs to bring you a certain set of DVDs. Oh, you can Netflix them too, but this is one set worth owning. Which I hopefully will, thanks to a generous gift card from my in-laws :-)

Choose Your Own Expletive

From The Weather Channel

Date: Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Time: 7 am

Condition: 20°F and Clear

Feels Like: 10°F

Precipitation Chance: 0%

Humidity: 50%

Wind: From NW at 8 mph

My first thought was: No Fucking Way.
Followed by: Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
Then: I Thought I Lived In Florida For Fuck's Sake.
So I branched out to: I Shit You Not (used as an email subject header)

But really, expressions and curse-words are not one size fits all. Choose the one that suits you best. I mean, in this instance, they all apply, but perhaps you have a favorite?

I've been digging the colder weather. This must be what all those commercials are about, right? And those holiday movies? Santa making sand-angels on the beach really isn't too far-fetched for the typical December day in Florida. But I could go me for a hot chocolate and a crackling fire right about now.

(Ooh, tangent!)
I always wondered why they bothered putting fireplaces in homes in Florida. Maybe the Panhandle, but Central Florida? That was just decadent and plain old weird.

Of course, Mike said he'd never use the heated seats in his car either.... so, yeah.

I needs me some Lemon Pledge up in here, cause Damn, place be dusty

Still alive.

Trapped under a pile of coupons.

Also, trying to go back to work, which is way more involved than just showing up. Numerous phone calls, emails, faxes, texts, trips to doctor offices and the occasional drive-thru add up to an 8-hour day. Fretting takes up another 10. Six hours of sleep isn't bad, right?

And NaNoWriMo? I've learned that if I just sit down and focus I can whip out like 600 words an hour! I just had to look up the definition of focus, however, so....

Turns out two, yes TWO, people found my blog while searching for ICD information! Of course, they didn't really find out anything useful, other than what color underwear not to wear to their procedure.

Also listed in the positives column, I still remember my Blogger password!

A Little Perspective

Our health insurance system is cracked, and the prices set for services and medicine is ridiculous. If you don't have insurance, you are screwed. If you do have insurance, you often feel like you need to hire a lawyer to help you navigate the loophole minefield.

Dealing with insurance companies, doctors, dentists and billing departments blows. Everyone thinks everyone else is trying to screw them over, and really, all anyone wants to do is get through the day and go home.

While a lot of our health issues are related to our lifestyle choices, there are still things you can't plan for, or avoid, or granola your way out of. Know your family medical history. Supplement your Big Macs and milkshakes with produce and water. Choose your doctors wisely.

If you have the opportunity to sign up for health care coverage, do it. If disability insurance is an option, take it. Up front, each month, you will feel a little strain on your bank account. But imagine what this would do to you, your finances, stress levels, and psychological well-being:




And don't think you wouldn't take a deep breath and a smile of relief at this:



Oh, and as for the surgery itself? Doing well! 10 more days and I can join a revival and shake my hands above my head with the best of 'em. And after seeing this insurance claim, I totally want to.

Quick, name the artist of this 8 year old music reference!

Someone flipped a switch and it's suddenly fall in Florida. Which means it's a high of 90 and a low of 55. A 35 degree difference between 6 am and 1 pm just ain't right, but we take what we can get.

Yesterday started off pleasant. Our thermostat is set at 75, and for the past 6 months the air conditioner has been running pretty much constant. So I didn't think much about the humming from the vents. It's background noise, which I enjoy. And since it is Florida, I didn't pay much attention to the warmth in the room. It was a sunny day, the blinds were open, my mouse-ing hand was getting a tan, all normal.

When Mike walked in the door at 7pm he went straight to the thermostat and asked, "Why is it 81 degrees in here?"

I assumed it was because he had jacked the setting up to 90 degrees when he left that morning. He likes to piss me off like that sometimes. I hadn't really noticed that anything was amiss. But, now that he mentioned it, it was hot in herre.

He demonstrated that he had in fact turned it down to 70 degrees while he was getting ready this morning. Apparently this is something we're doing now? Before I could get riled up about the electric bill, we put our hands up to the vent. It was like someone's asthmatic Grandpa was trying to blow out his birthday candles.

Then we peeked outside at the unit itself. Living in an apartment building, we don't pay a lot of attention to things, because we know we aren't responsible for them. However, when the squirrels start chewing on the AC hoses and frost an inch thick builds up on the gaskets, it might be time to care.

Took the picture this morning. The frost melted last night, once we turned the unit off.

And now I'm sitting here, waiting for some maintenance guys to show up and invariably do the same thing they did last time: patch things with duct tape, add some more juice, vacuum out the debris and leave dirty hand prints on my wall. Because we live in an apartment complex with 900 units.



And freon-huffing squirrels.

The Real Housewives of Central Florida

Pronounce this word: Coupon

Did you say it out loud? Heh, hope you were alone...

How did you say it? Koo-pawn? Queue-pawn? Koo-pin?
Yeah, that last one is Ron White's fault.

And on another tangent, that second "ue" in queue is totally unnecessary.

I've always pronounced it queue-pawn, and Mike is quick to correct me. It's just one of those words that I grew up hearing pronounced a little differently. It's not wrong, it's just unusual. As opposed to torlet. That is definitely the backwoods Florida way of saying toilet. At least I don't say lieberry or aks.

My reprogramming is moving along swiftly, due to the inordinate amount of times the word coupon is said in our house. I've kinda developed an obsession with couponing in the past few months in my efforts to save money. Of course, it is a double-edged sword. There is the propensity to buy something simply because you can get a good deal, not because it is a product you use. But, it's also a way to try new products at a lower cost.

I like waiting for BOGO sales and then layering coupons on top of that, getting 2 for less than the price of one. But you have to be patient and not use your coupons immediately. Thursdays are when the new grocery ads come out, and I admit to pulling the ad up online and matching coupons to sales.

It's a sad, little life I've got going on these days, isn't it?
What say we all put on our finery and hit the local hot spot? Of course, the plane tickets to your neck of the woods would severely cut into my recent savings...

If you have a CVS near you, get their little club card, peruse their ads and start stacking coupons. They also offer Extra Bucks, rewards for purchasing certain products at their stores. These store-generated coupons are for money off your next purchases. If your next purchase is 10 minutes later at another register, well, you've got them on a technicality.



Walgreens offers their own Register Rewards, but they are crazy strict on usage. Both places require you to pay the sales tax, which is fine. But at Walgreens, don't try to purchase an item for $5 and use a $6 Register Reward. They won't let you simply pay the tax and waste the rest of the reward, like CVS. Walgreens will deny you the use of the coupon. There can still be good deals there, but follow the rules.


Some of my best expeditions:

CVS: Spent $10.38, Saved $21.93
Total Steals:

Purex 3-in-1 detergent sheets: regular $7.99, on sale for $5.99, minus $3.00 coupon = $2.99, or 63% off. Haven't tried them yet. I've got a 150-ounce jug of Gain I'm still working through. Why yes, it was on sale!

Zegerid OTC 14ct: regular $12.79, on sale for $9.99, minus $3.00 coupon = $6.99, or 46% off.

Plus I had a $5.00 CVS Extra Bucks coupon to use on the total purchase, and received $11.50 in Extra Bucks for next time. Ignoring the sales tax, they actually paid me a penny to leave the store with the Zegerid ($6.99 - $7.00 Extra Buck for next time.) Which I gave to my sister, because I'm nice like that. The Zegerid, not the penny.


Publix: Spent $86.31, Saved $40.66
Total Steals:

Starbucks Ice Cream: BOGO, plus $1.50 coupon = 2 pints for $2.29. Not a product we would normally purchase. Mike said it was ok, but very chocolatey. Since it was Hot Chocolate and Mocha Frap flavors, that's probably what they were going for.

World's Best Cat Litter: Regular $7.99, in-store savings at $5.99, plus $3.00 coupon = $2.99. And as we know, worth it even when it's not on sale.


Walgreens: Spent $13.01, Saved $13.87
Total Steals:

Ponds Towelettes: Regular $5.99, on sale for $3.99, minus $1.25 coupon = $2.74, or 55% off. I got both the morning refresh and the evening soothe selections. They seem to work well, although the chamomile/white tea scent is a bit over-powering in the evening soothe.

Johnson & Johnson cotton swabs: Regularly $2.99, on sale for $1.99. Plus, it was a 375 count box, with a bonus 125, so that's 500 for $1.99. Got 2 boxes. We go through a lot of Q-tips around here.

And I purchased EOS Summer Fruits lip balm. Cost $3.00 and received a $3.00 Register Reward. So, free. Yay! I do love me some lip balm. I may have an addiction. Anybody know a hotline?



There are a ton of blogs and sites devoted to this. I doubt I will reach the levels of these folks. Most likely, I'll slack off. Especially once I get back to work. Which, dear God, please be soon.

Couponing. It's a lifestyle. It takes forever. It may or may not save you money, depending on your usage. It also makes for one boring ass blog post. I'll try for something a bit more titillating tomorrow. The thrill of organizing my sock drawer? Low-sodium tips and tricks? The best way to fold a towel? Oh the possibilities! I'm tingly just thinking about it.

My Train of Thought Is Not an Express

So, last night's episode of Glee.

It was pretty awesome. I'm not going to recap it, because others do that much better than I probably could. Although, there are some shows no one is recapping, and I find that a shame.

I love recaps. I read them for all the shows I watch. Well, I read recaps if Entertainment Weekly or Television Without Pity write them. Is that weird? Hmm... I also only listen to audio books for titles I've already read. I like to wring as much enjoyment/understanding out of entertainment as I can. Or something.

Anyway, Grilled Cheesus. It was emotionally powerful, and the music choices were excellent.

I could relate to a surprising number of issues brought up in this episode, however, one thing that resonated with me was a tiny blip, a throwaway comment from Brittany that will be collected in the blond's lexicon.

"Whenever I pray, I fall asleep."

Oh. Oh my. I have something in common with Brittany S. Pierce.

Well, at least now I know I'm not the only one. You guys, whenever I pray, I tend to drift off. Probably because I go on the longest tangents God has ever had to walk along with someone on. I start with the basics, variations on childhood prayers, then branch out into the specifics of the day. And then I wander off into expositions on the latest episode of Castle, my concerns about Global Warming, and whether or not I calculated the calories right in those chocolate chip cookies.

I've mentioned this to my family, who assures me it's the thought that counts. But... ok honestly? And why not, since if he is omniscient and stuff he already knows this... sometimes I pray because I need some spiritual Nytol. Yes, I may on occasion engage in conversations with God in the hopes that I may lull myself to sleep. Some may say I nod off because I get a sense of peace from praying. I hope this is true, otherwise, I fall asleep due to my inability to form complex and engaging thoughts. (read: I'm boring)

Of course, since you read this blog, you may already know this to be true. I do enjoy taking the long road to get to the point....


::Tiny Spoiler Alert::


Which is: Why was Kurt still going to school while his Dad was in the hospital? Who was taking care of him? Isn't he technically still a minor? Ok, not the point of the story, but still questions that beg answers. And why was Finn's Mom in less than 30 seconds of this whole episode? If she and Kurt's Dad are in a serious relationship, shouldn't she have been hanging around the hospital a bit more?